you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
