I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
