i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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