i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
