I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
