Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
