I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
