I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
