I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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