I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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