Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
