She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
