Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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