After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
