Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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