Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
one two three fourrrrnication!
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
