Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Why is there bacon in the couch?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
