he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize