I can't watch pbs sober anymore
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
