Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
the raccoons are back...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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