If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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