Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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