if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
