is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
