this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
