Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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