well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize