i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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