all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
