I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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