I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
