I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
