nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
