New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I need a beard to bite.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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