I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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