just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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