I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
