I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
