Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
