I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I can't turn off my feet"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
