sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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