Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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