i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
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