When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
