I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just saw a hot homeless man
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
