oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
