I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
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