make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
