I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
