I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
