Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
