I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
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