Moan for me like Helen Keller
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
