I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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