New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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