Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
