just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
