I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
