You can't special order awesome
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
