How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
