yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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