Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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