Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
