she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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