hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
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