oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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