Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
So much rum. So many feels.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
