your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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