If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
A+ Viking dick
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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