Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
