Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
