this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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