Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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