Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
