No awkward lesbian experiences without me
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
